Dear Alison- and all white women,

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I am writing because I am you and I am worried about us.

I am confounded that 53% of us voted for a pussygrabber endorsed by the Ku Klux Klan.

45 was the preferred candidate of white women in every age group except millennials.

I am profoundly disturbed- but not surprised- by the spate of white women calling the police on people of color for absurd reasons.

I am disgusted and ashamed by the white women serving in the Trump administration telling outright lies and harming women and children.

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Why are we so miserable and angry white women? What, exactly, is our complaint?

And why are we taking our anger and frustration out on people of color who have done NOTHING to harm us?

In fact, almost every legal protection we have is because Black people risked their lives to fight for freedom and we rode in on their coattails.

We don’t like the way men treat us?


Black women have been trying to tell us for centuries we can’t end sexism without ending racism. It won’t work!

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Yet we still wander the earth like babies unable to see anything clearly — or we see it clearly but just can’t be bothered to do anything about it because we LIKE it this way.

White women- everybody hates us- and with the exception of white men we have earned their hatred by our lack of self awareness and empathy.

I think many of us are miserable because we are frustrated.

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Everything we learned growing up turned out not to be how the world really works, and we think inflicting misery on people of color will somehow make us feel better.

It won’t.

Inflicting misery on others does not make the inflicter feel good, it makes her feel miserable.

What does make us feel better?

Genuine connection and community. Being seen heard and understood and doing the same for others.

The joy of walking up to an eight year old girl and saying “I’m so glad you opened your business because it’s a really hot day and I would love a cold water.”

Please white women. Let #permitpatty be the LAST white woman who calls the cops on a person of color.

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THINK white women. Study our history.

Open our minds hearts eyes and ears. Pay attention!


Yours truly,

Karen Fleshman

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Karen Fleshman, Esq. is the founder of Racy Conversations.

Her mission is to inspire the first antiracist generation in the United States.

43% of Millennials are people of color. 47% of Generation Z are people of color.

When we flip 10% of the white people in those generations- and 10% of white women- to antiracism, we will have a majority antiracist generation that will be transformative.

She speaks and cofacilitates workshops on race nationwide and online and contributes to Huffington Post, Moguldom, and The GED Section.

Karen is a cofounder of San Franciscans for Police Accountability and serves on the workgroup overseeing US Department of Justice recommendations on ending bias at SFPD. @fleshmankaren

Founder, Racy Conversations Inspiring the antiracist generation.

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